Drawing by Marianne Carduner
No Longer Waiting
Since I was little, I wanted to draw and be an artist like my grandpa. I always struggled with myself, not believing I was any good. I took a class here and there and always found it deeply satisfying to be able to put something down on paper. But I never did more than that, feeling frustrated by a lack of confidence in my skill and ability and the lack of family support.
Recently, everything in my life started falling away from me – work, finances, home, people – and friends took me, their home becoming a refuge in this downfall. 1 ½ years ago I finally stopped trying to make something happen in order to go deep within myself and what was happening, in order to allow whatever was happening to happen and allow whatever wanted to come forward to do so. Art showed up. For the past 9 months I have been doing something everyday, even if it is only one sketch and asking for supplies at Christmas.
The drawing I am presenting in this competition is one such drawing. I have entitled it “No Longer Waiting”.
The man is a bit hunched over at his café table, starring out the window. Is he waiting or is he no longer waiting. Perhaps he has been there waiting so long he can no longer wait. And yet, there he is having reached the point being between waiting and no longer waiting. It feels like me and where I am now. I am at that point between waiting and no longer waiting, and in this moment, possibly finding my fullest potential ready to express itself.
While I can at times achieve something that looks decent, it’s always touch and go and only when I can suddenly find myself in that space of it happening on its own, as was drawn my submission. I have, these past months, made use of many free resources online and have been plowing ahead. The Drawing Academy would support me in building my skill and my confidence to draw and create art with ease not only from what I see in the world but also from what is inside and from inspiration.
It has come at an opportune moment and would provide me the support and direction needed to unfold my artistic potential. Having the course, the mentors and the online forum would be a fantastic support and receiving this scholarship a ‘financial’ as well as artistic God send. I already have one drawing in mind, that I would like to do, from watching the Drawing Academy’s creative drawing preview video. Through this course, I would like to be able to take that imagery and put it, and others, down on paper, and in doing so inspire myself and awaken inspiration in others.
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